BELLAMYBUDIMAN

Yesterday, I text messaged Andreas under the assumption that his Esia number is, in fact, still his. I was wrong. It turned out to be an alay who replied me with:

Ni Cp4

At that point, I thought Andreas mistyped something and sent it to me, so I replied:

Hahaha loe salah ngetik ya?

And it replied back:

mgkn

And that was when it hit me. Shit. It is not Andreas, it’s some kind of… thing, which sole purpose is to create confusion in your normal life! Apparently “Ni Cp4″ means “Ini siapa?” Okay, you alay, how the fuck people would know what you’re writing, you idiot?

There is a good reason why unlike this dude with the number +62 878 41613739 (you might want to put this into your ignore list), we have actual and functional brains in our heads.

Dear number +62 878 41613739, if you want to actually do a scam, why not for the love of God, write things properly and professionally? You jackass.

Yes, it’s still about ANZ. Not only that they mistyped my name on the credit card, they are apparently sleazy enough (or at least they thought they are) to pull some tricks to get me to pay the annual credit card fee up front and get away with it.

So here’s the story, some time ago, a sales called me if I wanted a gold credit card, and I asked him back if the first annual fee is free or not. He said yes, so okay, fine, sign me up for that. Then, that stupid name mistype fiasco came up. Now, they are sending me the first bill, with a 300k charge printed on it for the annual fee. This is not what I signed up for, so I called them.

They said, there is this promo that if I spend 100k before the end of this month, I will get a “dana belanja” that is worth 300k to be credited to my credit card next month. The customer support said, their policy is to charge the annual fee up front, and this so-called “dana belanja” can be used to cover up my bills. Yes, just as long as I spend another 100k with the card. She said that I should just make the payment for this annual fee, it’s going to be free anyway in a sense, according to them.

So what if I don’t want to use the card next month, or in fact for the entire year? That means, that 300k worth of “dana belanja” is stuck in the card right? And that I have to actually SPEND another 300k to be able to enjoy that friggin “dana belanja”.

I told the officer to cancel the card, but she wanted me to call back tomorrow at office hours. I told her this:

“SAYA NGGA MAU TAHU, MBAK BIKIN LAPORANNYA DAN SAYA MAU MEREKA YANG TELEPON! KALO BESOK SAYA NGGA DITELEPON, AWAS AJA.”

And so she made that report. Nice try, ANZ, better luck next time, I’m canceling the card. And oh, a piece of advice. If you want to trick someone, try someone that’s actually dumber than you, it might just actually work out. Going through things like this with me, seriously, it’ll just make you even dumber than you already are.

I’m going to try to keep this explanation as easy as possible. I run a design company which is technically a service provider. By running a company like this, I value my clients highly and we try at the very best to respond to their needs as soon as possible, as good as possible, as reliable as possible, and the list goes on. All of this to keep the integrity of their trust to our company. Why? Because trust is hard to gain, and they paid for something that they expect to be so fucking damn good. We make that our priority.

The case of most Indonesian service providers is that they sell crappy services with a hefty price tag and somewhat idiotic knowledge of their own product or how it functions. The ISP we’re subscribed to often lied just to cover up their connection problems (the problem seems to always be on our side, not theirs), the telco I subscribed to is a pain in the ass who can’t even sell smartphones and usage plans the way they should, one of the banks I use proclaimed themselves stupid enough that they can’t count how many characters are there in a single email address, one of the insurance companies we subscribed to is constantly trying to find a way to not pay for our iMac’s service fee, thus negating the function of the insurance plan we bought from them. Ironically (except for the bank and the insurance), these dumbass providers are still one of the best in town.

Here’s one example. We paid almost 600k a month for our 1.5Mbps internet connection. Compared to broadband plans in the US which cost roughly $30 a month for a 10Mbps speed, yes, our connection is a fraction of the speed with twice the price tag. Therefore, since we paid for an expensive connection, I expect them to give us a fucking good service. Now when they miraculously provided me with an unexpected downtime, I expect them to give me one good reason why there was a downtime, why it’s down, why the hell it wasn’t scheduled, and if it were in maintenance, why the hell it wasn’t done at dawn when people was sleeping.

Here’s a tip for you dumbass providers, if you want me to treat you as goddamned idiots, by all means I would. And second, you never mess around or lie to someone who has more technical knowledge than you do, and if you ever do, I will bring the storms of hell upon you. I called to ask you what the problem is and not for you to fucking lie to me with a bogus and stupid reason.