BELLAMYBUDIMAN

I got a call from Tiki today, regarding that one of the WebPM T-shirts we’re sending from the office is stuck in Denpasar and needed a new address rerouting. Here’s how it went:

CS: “Pak Bellamy, saya dapat kabar kalau Bapak akan email alamat barunya ke csr@tiki-online.com, tapi email itu sedang ada gangguan, Pak.”
Me: “Oke, jadi saya bisa email ke mana ya alamatnya?”
CS: “Ke sini aja, Pak: csrcgk@gmail.com” (she pronounced it as gae-mail)

Being unsure if that’s in fact Gmail since she spelled it with an Indonesian ‘G’ pronunciation but an English ‘mail’ pronunciation, I asked (which probably the worst idea of all):

Me: “Coba dieja, Mbak.”
CS: “c-s-r-c-g-k-@g-mail.com”
Me: “Oh ok, jadi alamatnya di Gmail ya?” (I pronounced it as gee-mail, normally like people would)
CS: “Bukan ‘gee-mail’, Pak, tapi ‘gae-mail’.”
Me: “Huh?”
CS: “Iya, jadi kalo ‘email’ kan depannya pake ‘e’, ini pake ‘g’.”

^*&!^@*#^(!@(*#&!@$!

Just when you thought people couldn’t get our country any lamer, just like a secret agent man with a backup pistol on his ankle, the TV industry gave out its secret weapon:

Yes, they are called “Icil Divo”, and go take a look at the comments for this video as people ACTUALLY praised them. Now let’s give this a deep thought for a second and realize that no wonder people thought ripping off people’s ideas are okay, when the TV industry itself is just a compilation of lucky douchebags with brains no smarter than merely garbage cans, yet they call themselves creative.

Ironically, why we push ourselves to make Indonesia into a better country with better education, it is probably one of those countries where education is taught in a backward manner. My next question would be what other dumb shit have you people done today?

With all this chaos caused by these terrorists, I can only say this. Terrorists, you are nothing but cowards, you bombed something and you didn’t even admit that you did it. And in fact, you are nothing but dickless morons, that don’t even have coherent penises to begin with. What you do is nothing but a humiliation to yourselves, to your country, and to your own religion. There is no religion in this world that promotes violence, so you must’ve got your readings wrong. Why did you get it wrong? Because you are nothing but dumbfuck retards and you have lower IQs than the dumbest monkey in the world.

I don’t know about you, but I despise sinetrons. To me it’s one of the dumbest things that Indonesians have done. In fact, if I was elected to ever lead the country (which is most unlikely, and like I wanted it anyway), sinetron is probably one thing that I will ban from appearing in this God forsaken country.

I just had lunch earlier on a Padang restaurant just at the corner of my neighborhood. The restaurant has a TV set, turned on, and tuned in to SCTV, one of the country’s leading sinetron broadcaster (Hell, in fact, all of them are probably are). And just right there, it’s showing a God awful sinetron called “You’ve Got Ma’il”. Yes, you read it right, “You’ve Got Ma’il”. It turned out to be a cheesy (and obviously alay) love story about a guy named Ma’il (And no, he wasn’t played by Tom Hanks). Can you seriously believe this? They ripped a whole movie title out of no reason, they “creatively” name the character just to fit that ripped off title, and people throughout the country seemed to like it! Now, instead of broadcasting actually good TV shows with quality and a sense of educating the masses a bit, no, they chose to broadcast this dumbfoundingly moronic sinetron.

And this is not all, I’ve heard that there is a children’s sinetron that ripped off Ben 10. So if it’s not ripped off, it’s probably hideous that your IQ could drop down every hour you watch the damned shows.

So given the question “Where would Indonesia be in the next five to ten years?”, I would say “NOWHERE”. I don’t think I’m being pessimistic here. It’s the fact that I’m sure deep down inside, everyone agrees.

Even up to the point when I was writing this blog entry down, I have no such interest on finding out who won the election. I have lost my interest in local television way back ago, and all I did was watching Discovery Channel, which to my understanding is far more useful than watching a bogus election being counted for. All I heard was Partai Demokrat is winning again. If they do, well, congratulations, yada yada yada, and may you come up with a better plan than before, if you know what I mean.

I’m sure some of you seen my rant about the election that I went to the other day, nothing special about it to brag about, but a hell of shitty things to complain about. Hey, you can’t blame a cynic for churning out complaints, can you? But what have this year’s election brought us? Really, I’d like to see one glimpse of hope that can prove this election is for real. As always, you may have different arguments and different stand points from me, I respect that, but I do have the right to share my point of view. Here’s what I think the election has brought us:

Waste
Imagine all those crappy candidate banners, posters, flags, you name it. There are hundreds of candidates around the country, and that means there are literally millions of wasted paper go down the drain the minute the campaign is over. How many trees did we cut for that? How much ink did we spend printing those hideous banners? How much fuel did we use to transport and attach those bloody campaign materials on the street? I probably would care better if they were all designed properly and didn’t become as a mere visual pollution, but that still does not justify all that crapload of things we wasted. Wait a minute… We? No. THEY.

Chaos
Remember what happened to Pasar Jumat, Blok S, and Senayan the other day? When the campaign was on? Chaos. Major chaos. And these are caused by our very same legislative candidates who promised a lot of things. But that day, all they did was create a suffocation in the traffic and caused thousands of people a handful of their time. When you got your bloody asses elected, is this what you will bring in the future as well?

Promises That Cannot Be Kept
With tens of parties and a bucket load of candidates, they all announce promises to attract people. Are these promises that you can keep? Even until now, and even until I voted yesterday, NONE OF THEM have a fucking good reason why I should pick them to continue running this country.

Fear and Prejudice
Why do we have to mark our fingers with that purple ink? Why can’t they just develop a single and simple system that does not allow people to vote twice on any TPS? Why do you even have to judge people that do not vote as people who doesn’t seem to care about their country? Well, most of them do. They care so much about this country that they decided not to vote for uncertainty.

Uncertainty
How can we be certain that this election will turn out good when there are those who can vote twice, those who were dead and CAN vote, and thousands of those who are not even registered—thanks to the genius committee—and thus cannot vote?

Bribery
Starbucks gave free coffee and Dufan gave out 50% entry fee discounts to those who vote. This is not how you teach people to vote. This how you teach a dog to perform a trick. You get the dog to do something, and you gave it a treat. What are the chances that people only went to the TPS and vote for anything just to get free coffee? Many.

Disunity
In this election, we have 48 parties, which means we have 48 different programs, which means that every single one of these parties have their own take on how to make Indonesia better. Well, yeah sure, according to them. They said Indonesia is a nation of unity, well with 48 different kinds of parties, where’s the unity in that? Simply put, let’s take it like this. Can you imagine 48 ways to make Indonesia better? Well I certainly can’t. Instead of forming stupid and mindless parties, why not just stick to only a few of them and make really good programs? Or is this just a way for those to shell out cash for purposeless things?

Anybody wants to add a couple of things here?