BELLAMYBUDIMAN

Yes, it’s still about ANZ. Not only that they mistyped my name on the credit card, they are apparently sleazy enough (or at least they thought they are) to pull some tricks to get me to pay the annual credit card fee up front and get away with it.

So here’s the story, some time ago, a sales called me if I wanted a gold credit card, and I asked him back if the first annual fee is free or not. He said yes, so okay, fine, sign me up for that. Then, that stupid name mistype fiasco came up. Now, they are sending me the first bill, with a 300k charge printed on it for the annual fee. This is not what I signed up for, so I called them.

They said, there is this promo that if I spend 100k before the end of this month, I will get a “dana belanja” that is worth 300k to be credited to my credit card next month. The customer support said, their policy is to charge the annual fee up front, and this so-called “dana belanja” can be used to cover up my bills. Yes, just as long as I spend another 100k with the card. She said that I should just make the payment for this annual fee, it’s going to be free anyway in a sense, according to them.

So what if I don’t want to use the card next month, or in fact for the entire year? That means, that 300k worth of “dana belanja” is stuck in the card right? And that I have to actually SPEND another 300k to be able to enjoy that friggin “dana belanja”.

I told the officer to cancel the card, but she wanted me to call back tomorrow at office hours. I told her this:

“SAYA NGGA MAU TAHU, MBAK BIKIN LAPORANNYA DAN SAYA MAU MEREKA YANG TELEPON! KALO BESOK SAYA NGGA DITELEPON, AWAS AJA.”

And so she made that report. Nice try, ANZ, better luck next time, I’m canceling the card. And oh, a piece of advice. If you want to trick someone, try someone that’s actually dumber than you, it might just actually work out. Going through things like this with me, seriously, it’ll just make you even dumber than you already are.

A few days ago, I submitted a request to ANZ because they failed to copy my name from my identification card properly. Instead of “BELLAMY BENEDETTO B”, they named my credit card “BELLAMY BENEPETTO B”. Clearly the one who typed in my name has sight problems as in a standard QWERTY keyboard, the keys D and P are located across the opposite sides of the board, and the fact that identification cards are printed quite clearly even for remote areas of Indonesia. Maybe that person is using a DVORAK layout which has a closer D and P configuration, but I doubt that he/she would even know about it other than the standard company-issued keyboard attached to the computer.

Today, one of their officers called me and said that the copy of my identification card that I faxed has my name’s letters too close to each other. No, not squished, but too close to each other. In my understanding, when someone told me “Hey, the letters are too close to each other”, that means that it kerns incorrectly, which probably would look like this:

In theory, unless you have a fax machine that spits out paper horizontally, this is not by any means possible. If the letters were squished vertically like this:

Then it’s possible, perhaps they are using a paper-saving function that condenses the contents of a single page into half a sheet. And of course, there would probably other kinds of variables that could affect my facsimile transmission that isn’t necessary if the typed in my name correctly in the first place. Bottom line, they needed me to fax my identification card again in a bigger size.

So I figured that this was just going to be that other daunting task that has to be done because someone else’s stupidity, but hey, who am I to question the technological advances of a renowned credit card provider, right? So I faxed them this:

That’s a piece of A4 paper and a sandal next to it, just to give you the idea on how big it is. And if they still can’t get my name right this time, maybe the company should change their policy a bit and distribute free prescription glasses to everyone.

And yes, I get cranky when my name is pronounced incorrectly.