Today, my friend Taja and I met the same situation in Ford Jaksel with our Fiestas. The story goes like this, Taja’s Fiesta cannot connect to the iPhone and have songs playing in the car without connecting it with this cable:

It has to be connected to the car via USB and the AUX port at the same time, while mine works perfectly with a normal iPod USB cable. Coincidentally, I was there to claim a broken windshield seal rubber, and he was there to make them fix this annoying USB cable problem. On his first attempt, the tech said that every single Fiesta is like that, and people need to purchase this cable from them for 500k. Although it’s a fact that many of the first Fiestas in the country are experiencing this problem, this is just simply bull crap.

We then went comparing our cars side by side, and proved that the normal iPod USB cable connection worked flawlessly in my car. A truly on-your-face moment for the tech, and Mr. Schmuck seems to feel that he’s not the smartest guy anymore, beaten by a couple of customers, and proving that his “cable solution” is in fact, a dumb solution. He then went to ask me on what software did I install in my car. Software? It’s been like that since day one, and it is funny since Taja’s Fiesta is newer than mine, there’s no reason why it has an older firmware. However, even after “diagnosing” my car for “special settings”, the tech can’t seem to answer this.

After a few more minutes without answers from the tech, I decided to leave and told Taja to fix the car himself. I then told the tech to go to this site, download the firmware update, and then he can probably help other customers in the future. Basically a polite version of “You’re an idiot, you should know this. You’re the goddamned tech.” The Ford Mobile Connectivity website has been circulating around in various local and foreign forums and it fixes exactly that problem. The tech even tried applying the settings file he copied from my car to Taja’s. As predicted, it wasn’t really a spectacular result.

The fix is actually easy, and Taja can do this by himself for probably less than an hour (which he did at home and succeeded), but that is not the point. Authorized technicians should know better about the cars they sell, no? This proves that service providers in this country has very little knowledge in the products they sell. This is stupid. Imagine the cost that uninformed customers have to pay just to fix a minuscule problem like this, 500k for a stupid cable that doesn’t fix the actual problem? We can now conclude that if you want to have something fixed, then try fixing it yourself. It actually works better most of the time.

On October 13, I received this text message stating that the parts needed will arrive on October 21:

It’s currently October 27, I called the service center back, and they said there was trouble with the parts expedition and they expect it to arrive on early November.

Seriously, Datascrip? How much longer should I wait for the parts to arrive? A month? A year? A decade? If you’re going to sell Canon products here, don’t you have the slightest idea that you HAVE TO HAVE SPARE PARTS READY FOR CUSTOMERS?! What kind of an idiot that sells common consumer products without the ability to service them accordingly and in a timely manner?

Update #2:
The manager called me yesterday and offered me an upgrade to a G12 for a million less than the listed price. That’s around 1.45 million, and around the same price I have to pay for the G10 spare parts. He said it is a compensation for the disappointment I have with their incompetence, and that he can’t make sure when the parts are coming in himself. However, today, this is what I got:

Now it stated that I have to pay 2.5 millions to trade to a G12. So this is apparently how Datascrip does their business? They promise you one thing, and then they screw you right on your face. What other dumbshit have you done today, Datascrip? I called this in and they said the price was already according to the memo FROM THE SAME MANAGER. I no longer know who’s the dumbass in Datascrip anymore at this point. Could be just the customer service officer (which is not really a surprise), or it could be everyone.

Update #3:
After another complaint, I got another phone call, confirming that I would only have to pay 1.458 million. According to the caller, the reason why nobody have a fucking clue on why I don’t have to pay for a full upgrade price is because they have not been informed yet by the manager. Nice, two different phone calls, two different reasons. If the decision is yet to be made, then why the hell did they texted me with the message above in the first place? This whole process is just purely idiotic.

Seriously, Datascript, you better get this thing right. Either your incompetent employees, or your workflow, whatever. This is seriously embarassing.

Back in the days, my Dad used to have this small Acer Tablet PC. I completely forgot the name or model because Acer, just like most computer manufacturers love numbers and codes instead of product names. This tablet PC is so shit that it made Dad asked me each day “what the fuck is wrong with this thing that it hangs when doing anything?” and it is so shit that it cannot level itself perfectly on a table with the battery attached.

Over the years, I have yet to see that improvement from Acer, not in quality, not in durability. They are all, in my opinion, still plasticky, and shit.

Now, recently, Acer announced that they wanted to be more like Apple, and they restructured themselves to make that happen. And seriously, who would’ve thought that in the process of being more like Apple, they decided to ape the MacBook Air and came out with this:

So do you think Acer deserves my loathe? Yes, just because I hate plagiarists. What’s next on your to-do list, Acer? An Aspire that looks like a Mac Pro? A Z5 that looks like an iMac? Or maybe an Iconia that looks like an iPhone? Or maybe, just maybe, a CEO that looks like Steve Jobs?

So my reply has not been answered yet, and the question remains:

“APAKAH BAPAK GEORGE BAKER INI SEORANG PEMANGGANG ROTI?”

Free Pitches
First and foremost, I hate free pitches, and some Indonesian clients think that this is part of a good corporate governance (yeah, good corporate governance my ass). Here’s my explanation on why free pitches are a disgrace to humanity. In the creative industry, our resources are our key assets to make our business work, and that includes time, money, manpower, and above all else, creativity itself. So if we waste these for something that we probably won’t get, I would prefer that we work on something else, and use our precious creativity there. And yes, stealing designs to be given to cheaper designers is a definite sign that you’re a colossal douche, and I’m pretty sure that they reserved a spot for you to rot in hell.

Window Shopping
This is also a bad habit. Not that this only happen with Indonesian clients, but to overseas clients as well, except that it is on a lower frequency. So when we already contributed a few hours of our time to research and make a comprehensive quote for a project but got ditched with no reason, I hate that too. The least you can do is to say that you’re not comfortable with the price we asked, and then fine, maybe you’re not a suitable client for us. Fair enough, not everybody is everyone’s client.

The Inability to Know What One Wants
This is a killer move. Most of Indonesian clients seem to revolve around the idea of a trend (or perhaps ego and pride as some people like to call it). One has a blog, everyone wants a blog. One has a social media manager, everyone wants it, too. One has an E-commerce website, everyone wants to make one without realizing that they don’t even have a freaking store to begin with. But almost none seem to understand if they need one in the first place, or if that is just the result of being a follower. And the second they see these array of zeroes in the quote, they bail out and said “I didn’t realize that building an online shopping website is such a huge investment.” Well, if you’re looking for a proper one, yes it is. Sorry, but that is a fact.

The Inability of Appreciating Creative Work
This is the ultimate thing of all the things that we hate in this nation’s creative industry, people who cannot justify that building a website, for example, is worth more than 500,000 rupiahs. I can’t say many things about these people except that if they value design and creative work like shit, then that is exactly the same value I’d give to their business.

In the end, I don’t mean that all Indonesian clients are bad. As I stated before, we do have local clients as well, and those we’ve worked with are not bad clients. They appreciate our work, they value the need of design in general, and most of all, they listen. They listen and they are willing to take our advice as design professionals instead of telling us that they-paid-so-they-get-to-order-us-things.

But there’s the other side of the coin as well. Some designers are also to blame because they value themselves so low, that inconsiderate clients think they own these people’s lives. So why don’t these designers value themselves higher? Why don’t they value their industry better to begin with? To this date, I simply don’t know how to answer this properly, or how to figure out how their minds work. I hope someone would really enlighten me on this one.

Again, those are my observations based on my experience. So depending on different circumstances, my writings here cannot be accounted for a factual reference to your particular cases. They are just my two cents.

Tonight, I bought 38.22 liters of fuel. That is something which I have to pay for IDR 275,184 to Shell. They charge Super for IDR 7,200 a liter right now, while Pertamina charges Pertamax for IDR 7,050 per liter. At that point in the gas station, I’m expecting to pay Pertamina IDR 269,430 for the fuel.

No.

Instead, they charged me IDR 275,430. I asked the attendant why and he said that for every IDR 50,000 worth of fuel, Pertamina charges you an additional IDR 1,000 if you’re paying with a credit card. This would probably be okay if the rule was written somewhere within the vicinity, like maybe posted on every fucking fuel pump there, but no, there was nothing written there at all. So to me, this is clearly a ripoff. For the record, I was never charged for any extra fee when filling up with Shell or Total. So props to them (and they have much better customer service, too).

Nice try, Pertamina. If by good service means ripping off customers a thousand for every fifty without even telling them, then fuck you for stealing. To me, it’s not about the amount of money that you ripped off, but in a sane world, there is this thing that you call business ethics. But then again, this is a state-run company. What can you expect?

I know that this is probably far fetched, but if there’s any way to trace down who owned that Esia number, I would really like to know, go to his stinkin’ house and torture that son of a bitch myself. You know, just for kicks.

And if you’d like to contribute profanity to the guy in question, by all means, I left his number up there.

So here’s the deal, oh dear thief. I can already accept that this country is a shit hole with a shitty government and mostly shitty people, and the airport you worked in is also an even more fucked-up shit hole with the fact that it is probably worst than the worst shit hole in this country. And while I cannot accept that a fucked-up dickhead like you ever existed in any community, it would probably better if you take the entire box along with you, instead of leaving us with a useless telephone set.

But in any case, since you chose to moonlight as a thief, I hope the karma lands upon you. I hope you die and your soul rot in deepest hell hole.

Saya menunggu paket penting yang dikirim kilat kemarin dari Bandung (resi 1445663550001), tapi sampai detik ini belum sampai, dan ini sudah hampir habis jam kantor. Ini apanya yang kilat? Servisnya sangat mengecewakan dan merugikan. Telepon JNE pusat juga semuanya sibuk DARI PAGI. Sebenarnya ada ngga sih yang kerja di sana? Masa hotline sibuk dari pagi?

Best regards,

Bellamy B. Budiman

Today, they replied me with this (sent from their email adm.cssuport3@jne.co.id):

Dear Ibu Bellamy,

Sebelumnya mohon maaf email Ibu baru kami respon dan terimakasih atas email serta kepercayaan Ibu terhadap perusahaan kami JNE. Kami informasikan bahwa kiriman Ibu telah diterima pada tanggal 27-08-2010 jam. 18:59 penerima: SUTIKNO.

Best Regards,
Dina Parlina
CS Officer
Customer Service Department

For being a numbskull and assuming that I am female, I replied them with this:

FYI, ini dengan BAPAK Bellamy, bukan ibu. Tentunya Ibu Dina tidak mau kalau saya panggil Bapak Dina?

Best regards,

Bellamy B. Budiman

So, Dina Parlina from JNE, if you can’t decide one’s gender, it is best that you use “Bapak/Ibu” or simply just the name instead. But, of course, that would be too much for you to understand, wouldn’t it?

I’ve done a bit of research, too. I found two credible hits for “Dina Parlina”. Apparently, those results are always related to customer complaints, as described here and here. So, it’s either Dina Parlina is a real person and presumably a man, or it’s just a cover name for their Customer Support.

Okays, Qory, ours Miss Indonesia, we understands whats you are talkings. When we downs you can makes we ups. Okay, thanks you.

(Oh my God, I feel like I lost a bunch of my IQs just to write things in Qorylish)