BELLAMYBUDIMAN

Due to their extensively SLOW One Night Service package delivery, and their impossible-to-be-contacted Customer Support, yesterday I decided to send an email to JNE with my complaint. Here’s my email:

Saya menunggu paket penting yang dikirim kilat kemarin dari Bandung (resi 1445663550001), tapi sampai detik ini belum sampai, dan ini sudah hampir habis jam kantor. Ini apanya yang kilat? Servisnya sangat mengecewakan dan merugikan. Telepon JNE pusat juga semuanya sibuk DARI PAGI. Sebenarnya ada ngga sih yang kerja di sana? Masa hotline sibuk dari pagi?

Best regards,

Bellamy B. Budiman

Today, they replied me with this (sent from their email adm.cssuport3@jne.co.id):

Dear Ibu Bellamy,

Sebelumnya mohon maaf email Ibu baru kami respon dan terimakasih atas email serta kepercayaan Ibu terhadap perusahaan kami JNE. Kami informasikan bahwa kiriman Ibu telah diterima pada tanggal 27-08-2010 jam. 18:59 penerima: SUTIKNO.

Best Regards,
Dina Parlina
CS Officer
Customer Service Department

For being a numbskull and assuming that I am female, I replied them with this:

FYI, ini dengan BAPAK Bellamy, bukan ibu. Tentunya Ibu Dina tidak mau kalau saya panggil Bapak Dina?

Best regards,

Bellamy B. Budiman

So, Dina Parlina from JNE, if you can’t decide one’s gender, it is best that you use “Bapak/Ibu” or simply just the name instead. But, of course, that would be too much for you to understand, wouldn’t it? Moron. And no, I don’t give a shit with your apology.

I’ve done a bit of research, too. I found two credible hits for “Dina Parlina”. Apparently, those results are always related to customer complaints, as described here and here. So, it’s either Dina Parlina is a real person and presumably a man, or it’s just a cover name for their chicken shit Customer Support. Either way, real or not, a moron is a moron.

Okays, Qory, ours Miss Indonesia, we understands whats you are talkings. When we downs you can makes we ups. Okay, thanks you.

(Oh my God, I feel like I lost a bunch of my IQs just to write things in Qorylish)

Today, Telkom Speedy called to the office and said:

Telemarketer: Sore, ini dari Telkom Speedy.
Me: Mau nawarin internet ya?
Telemarketer (excited, for some reason): Betul, Bapak! Kami mau menawa…
Me: (hangs up)

And the conversation is done.

For the record, this is probably the hundredth time they offered Speedy to us. The least they can do is to keep a database of those who want and those who doesn’t want their stupid service. But they wouldn’t be called Telkom if they did, would they?

I have nothing against Korea (South Korea, to be precise). It’s a nice country and I’m sure it’s probably better than where we are now, they also make some of the best electronics to date, Hyundai is on its way up to become an actually-good auto manufacturer, and they have good food.

But K-Pop, on the other hand, is just stupid. Not only that you put up pretty boys that probably couldn’t sing. They compile tens of them in one group, maybe to compensate their lack of singing ability. No, seriously, 21 members in a boy band? Are you out of your freaking minds? What are you guys going to sing? 10 different versions of “We are the World” in a single album?

Last night, I stumbled upon Telkomsel’s website because I want to sign up for their electronic billing statement service (A service which signup link has yet to be found until now). I was already on my bed, and decided, hey, why don’t I just open the website from my iPhone and sign up from there. After all, Telkomsel is the exclusive provider for the iPhone, so they had to have a good mobile version of their website, right? Right? Right?

No.

Because here’s what showed up in my mobile Safari:

It is probably, by far, the ugliest mobile website I’ve ever seen from a mobile provider. It is badly designed (look at those jagged rounded corners of the icons), badly developed, and it doesn’t even give you any information other than referring you to mostly outdated apps in the App Store. Not to mention that most of those apps are not good looking either.

It also doesn’t give you the option to switch to the regular website, it needs you to explicitly enter “http://www.telkomsel.com/web/home” in the browser (luckily I bookmarked that one) so that it will give you this:

By the way, that screenshot was taken on a Mac, so in the iPhone, the main feature slideshow as you see there is not available, because it’s using Flash (while it’s easier to do that with jQuery, but hey, they’re technologically advanced people, right?).

But this is not the website’s feature that I want to talk about. If you look at the lower right section of the website, you’ll see a customer login. Everything there seems to be right (despite the ugliness of the website’s design). But when you look closer, you’ll get this:

People, if you ever want to forget your Telkomsel login password for any reason at all, then worry no more! Telkomsel has that feature made for you.

PS: If someone can point me on how to signup for the electronic billing statement, it would be much appreciated. It seems that talking with their jackass customer service won’t do much good.