I got to hand this one to Esia’s customer support division. This has got to be the dumbest story in my entire life. The story goes like this. I purchased an Esia subscription so that I have (supposedly) a mobile internet connection at my disposal. Well, at least that was the plan.

Now, my post-paid subscription is active and supposedly, again, I should be able to connect to the internet using my iBook, a Nokia 2865, and via bluetooth. Again, that was the plan until everything decides not being able to dial to Esia. No carrier line, it said. Then I tried on dialing using all my hardware, but this time, using Christo’s Esia card. And it worked flawlessly. So that’s it, the problem relies on my card or subscription.

I then called Esia’s customer support to tell them the condition. I know for sure that they have not opened my data connection channel. That’s why I can’t even dial to the damned number. After pointless chats and argues with the oh-so-smart officer, he decides to do the regular line-up of questions. “It’s for the records,” he said… Here’s what the conversation looks like (in Indonesian):

CSO: “Bapak pakai OS-nya apa?”
Me: “Mac”
CSO: “Windows Mac?”

At this point of conversation, I don’t know whether I want to laugh or not, or just hung up the phone because I know this would get me nowhere.

Me: “Mas, Mac ya Mac, Windows ya Windows, ngga ada tuh namanya Windows Mac. Macintosh tau kan?”
CSO: “Pentium berapa, Pak?”

Now even if I did use Intel Macs, they don’t call those Pentiums.

Me: “Power PC, mas, saya pake iBook iBook! Benernya ya, mas, bukannya saya ngga mau kasih tau saya pake hardware saya apa, tapi saya ngga ngeliat hubungannya antara apa hardware saya dan masalah koneksinya. Orang saya coba pake kartu temen saya, pasca bayar juga, handphone yang sama, dan laptop yang sama jalan kok.”
CSO: “Ini buat laporan, Pak. Biar nanti kita bisa berikan ke divisi yang terkait.”
Me: “Ya udah, apa aja tadi?”
CSO: “Jadi Bapak pakai Macintosh, Pentium Power PC…”
Me: “Bukan Pentium Power PC, Pentium ya Pentium, Power PC ya Power PC! Saya pake iBook G4!”
CSO: “Ok, Pak nanti tinggal ditunggu konfirmasinya. Terimakasih telah menghu…”

I hung up the phone even before the guy stopped talking. Esia guys are soooooo smart, aren’t they? Maybe if they ask you what OS you are using, and you said “Lontong”, I’m pretty sure that they’ll say, “Windows Lontong?”

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